Updated June, 2025
Each time we gather as a congregation there are those among us who are struggling with sexual temptation. As worship leaders we are called to help God’s people present our struggles—even the ones we’d rather ignore—before God and receive God’s care. We need to come before God honestly. But how are we to address sexuality in the context of worship outside of a sermon?
When thinking about issues related to sexuality our thoughts often turn immediately to homosexuality but it may be that a broader conversation needs to be had. Through conversations with students and staff, Paul Ryan began to identify some of the struggles facing those who are attracted to people of the same sex and found that many of these struggles are common to all of us. The call to sexual holiness is not just for a segment of our church body but for all of us, young and old.
What follows are brief thoughts on various aspects of sexual holiness, as well as appropriate songs to sing. It’s our hope that these resources serve as a beginning point in a larger conversation. How do we live holy lives in a sexually disordered world? As Paul Ryan points out, it begins with understanding our true identity in Christ.
—JB
Christian Identity
As Christians, our identity is first and foremost in Jesus Christ. This is our baptismal calling. Our culture, however, places great pressure on us to find our identity elsewhere: in a sports team, a political party, a fashion magazine, or in our sexuality. We need to encourage one another to place our sexuality in the context of our baptismal calling and affirm our Christian identity.
Songs
“In Christ Alone” Getty; Townend
“Blessed Assurance: Jesus Is Mine” Crosby
“When We Are Living” Escamilla
Christian Community
Our identity in Christ is formed and nurtured in loving Christian community. We need to pray for communities that are hospitable, supportive, truthful, admonishing, gracious, and compassionate. Moreover, Christians need to ask for forgiveness where we have failed to act as Christ’s community. For those who struggle to maintain sexual integrity, whether married or single, we need to pray especially for loving role models and friends to give meaning and accountability to their struggles.
Songs
“Beneath the Cross of Jesus” Clephane
“We Are Members of Christ’s Body” Polman
Christ-Honoring Sexuality
We live in a sex-saturated culture that exerts constant pressure to be sexually active outside of marriage or have an improper sexual relationship with a spouse. All of us, married and single, need prayer to remain faithful in the discipline of Christ-honoring sexuality by the power of the Holy Spirit.
Songs
“Take My Life” Havergal
“Christian, Do You Struggle” Crete
Confession
Christians regardless of orientation do succumb to lapses in sexual integrity. In our weakness, we ought never to give in to defeat, but to find Christ’s grace and power in repentance. As communities we need to walk along side individuals who have deviated from God’s desire with compassion knowing that all of us are sinners and extend grace to those who truly desire forgiveness and reconciliation.
Songs
“Create in Me a Clean Heart” Anonymous
“Nothing But the Blood of Jesus" Lowry
Lament
Christians who wrestle with maintaining their sexual integrity and face painful consequences relationally and personally feel acutely the brokenness of our fallen world. They pray, “Lord, take this burden away from me.” Yet often that prayer is not answered as they desire. Along with them we implore, “Why, O Lord?” And we ask, “How long?”
Songs
“In Labor All Creation Groans” Dufner
“We Cannot Measure How You Heal” Bell
Courage
It is challenging for Christians to open up their lives to the love and accountability of others. Christians need great courage to speak of their sexual struggles to even their closest friends and family members.
Songs
“Made Me Glad” Blessed, Hillsong Music Australia
“Nothing Can Trouble” Avila
Self-denial
Christ’s example of love and self-sacrifice is a challenge for all of us. Our culture promotes self-fulfillment above all and demands the satisfaction of all desires, especially sexual. We must pray for the strength to live in obedience to Christ’s life-giving Word for the sake of God’s kingdom.
Songs
“I Surrender All” DeVenter
“O Master, Let Me Walk with Thee” Gladden
Freedom
Guilt and shame are a great weight to carry. Christians, sexually active or not, often carry a great burden of guilt and regularly feel shame when it comes to their sexuality rather than celebrate its beauty. Some also feel the guilt and shame of secret lives, addiction to pornography, or broken relationships. Christ promises us freedom from guilt and shame and bids us to live in the reality of that freedom. Our sexuality ought to be a gift that is cherished and properly nurtured rather than a source of shame.
Songs
“For Freedom Christ Has Set Us Free” Dunstan
“We Cannot Measure How You Heal” Bell
Discernment
All Christians need to pray for the Holy Spirit to help us hear God’s voice and obey God’s Word. Popular media bombards us with images and messages suggesting that our sexuality is solely governed by our wishes and desires. Christians need discernment to test what they hear with the Word of God and the Church’s wisdom, and courage to conform to God’s will.
Songs
“Speak, O Lord” Getty; Townend
“May the Mind of Christ, My Savior” Wilkinson
Love
As God’s children we are deeply loved. God loved us when we were made; God loved us when we were saved; and God continues to love us and renew us by the Holy Spirit. Many Christians, at one time or another, struggle to know and experience God’s love for them. Christians who wrestle with sexual integrity need to know that they are loved. Too often they hear from the church a message of judgment or even hatred. Instead the church needs to embody a message of love so that all may know and experience the love of God in Christ Jesus, our Lord.
Songs
“The Power of Your Love” Bullock
“O Love of God, How Strong and True” Bonar