Recently our media feeds in the United States have been filled with stories of sexual abuse and rape. Unfortunately, this isn’t unusual no matter where we live. Sometimes though, the stories are so horrific that it finally gets people talking. At the same time it raises up traumatic memories for many individuals who have been abused, including those in our worshiping communities. In situations like these what is our response as worship leaders and pastors? Some might say that worship is not the place to address topics of sexual abuse. But if we don’t speak up in worship when the community is gathered then when do we? If we don’t address difficult topics in the presence of our holy God then are we suggesting that God is not interested in such things? If we don’t create space for lament in worship do we suggest that there is no place for uncomfortable truth and do we become complicit in the silence? While sexual assault is in the headlines at the moment, it is ever present in our communities including our churches. Below I offer a prayer and two sermon ideas to begin making room in worship and the life of your community for more conversation and awareness. This should not be a once and done activity but rather become a part of our normal conversation and posture. We need to create a space where it is clear that every human is loved and valued, that there is no allowance for any kind of abuse, and that worship is a safe place to bring our deepest wounds, as well as our confessions. (For more on trauma and worship see my article “Trauma-Informed Worship: A Priestly Act”) The Jane and John Doe’s of this world cannot be ignored. It isn’t enough to lament only when one becomes a headline. You grew up with them. They reside in your neighborhood, are your colleagues, attend your church, and are part of your family. The church cannot remain silent because scripture isn’t silent. The church needs to do more because God demands it.A Prayer of Lament for The AbusedFeel free to use this entire prayer, excerpt portions of it, or adapt it to reflect your context. If you choose to use the “hear our prayer” as a communal response you will need to provide some sort of cue as there is no consistent way to introduce it textually. While the whole prayer could be projected with the responses in bold, that may be too distracting. I suggest utilizing some sort of chime. Before beginning the prayer introduce it by saying something like: “Today, we pray for the known and unknown individuals in our midst who have been sexually abused and raped, and for our communities, institutions, and ourselves in our complicity. You are invited to vocally join in the prayer by responding “hear our prayer” whenever you hear this sound [play sound]. Let’s try that. When you hear this sound [play sound] you say “hear our prayer. [Play sound] “hear our prayer”. Let us pray.” God of justice, whose anger burns red like molten lava,whose tears co-mingle with our own, and whose arms reach out in comfort, hear our lament. We pray for those of us who have experienced abuse, including sexual assault and rape. For those who cannot speak because the despair is so deep, hear our prayer. For those who cannot speak because the wounds are so raw, hear our prayer. For those who do not speak because they were not believed when they spoke before or do not trust that they will be believed now, hear our prayer. For those who do not speak because their memory is fuzzy, or they’ve been told their memory is false, hear our prayer.For those who do not speak because they do not know what to say, or who they can trust to say it to, hear our prayer. For those who do not speak because they do not believe themselves, are trying to forget, or have buried their memories, hear our prayer. God, whose heart is broken because of the evils that have been done, hear our prayer. Bring comfort where comfort is needed, courage to those frozen in fear, clarity to those who wonder if their story is worth telling, or if they have all the facts right, light to those whose lives are enshrouded with dark memories, and your healing breath to those who feel they cannot breath. God of truth and justice, hear our prayer. Help us to be safe people and our community to be a safe place where those who need comfort can find it. Help us to learn to listen with patience, understanding, and nonjudgement. Clear our vision so we can see injustice. Release our voices to speak out and raise alarms. Enliven our hands and feet to work against injustice. God of truth and justice, shine your light on our own complicity and ways we contribute to the abuse of others. Change us so that we can be used to support others in their journey. God of all goodness and righteousness, hear our prayer. We confess that we have not done enough to protect those who are vulnerable. We confess that too often we have not stepped up and done what is right because we had other things to do, because it wasn’t our place, because we were afraid to challenge someone in leadership or our close circles, someone who we respected.We confess that too often we have not stepped up and done what is right because we figured someone else would, so perpetrators remained free to continue their abuse. We confess that we have not demanded justice and accountability from institutions and leadership. We confess that we have excused inappropriate behavior, saying, “boys will be boys,” “we did the same when we were young,” “they didn’t mean it,” “we don’t want to ruin their lives,” “you need to understand the other side,” or "It's just a joke.” We confess that we have laughed at inappropriate jokes because we wanted to belong or we simply weren’t thinking. We confess that we have blamed the victim as if the perpetrator did not have autonomy over their actions. We confess that we have failed to teach the next generation what true respect and love looks like. We confess that we have not believed the stories we have heard and sometimes made sure we never had to hear them. We confess that we have not done enough. Forgive us for our complicity. God of justice, whose anger burns red like molten lava,whose tears co-mingle with our own, and whose arms reach out in comfort, hear our lament. —Joyce Borger © 2026 ReformedWorship.org CC BY-NC-SA 4.0Sermon Ideas In forming the right culture around sexual intimacy, it is also important that the subject of sexual intimacy and abuse is addressed in preaching. This doesn’t necessarily require an entire sermon on the topic but rather being alert to opportunities that texts naturally present. To change a culture requires repeated engagement not a once-a-year reminder. To that end, here are two passages that can be used. 2 Samuel 11: Bathsheba, David, and the Abuse of PowerAs I understood it growing up, the story was that Bathsheba was brazenly bathing on the roof of her house for all to see when David happened to see her, found out who she was, called her to the palace, and then impregnated her. While I understood that David was at fault, I also grew up with the notion that Bathsheba was in part to blame for bathing so publicly—she was looking for attention. But that take isn’t supported by the Bible itself. First of all, the text doesn’t say Bathsheba was on the roof. She was likely in her walled courtyard. The palace being set up above the rest of Jerusalem and David being on the roof gave him a vantage point that invaded Bathsheba’s privacy. Bathsheba was actually engaged in a Biblically mandated ritual of purification following her menstrual cycle. Given that there was no indoor plumbing it was typical for bathing to occur in the privacy of a courtyard. Bathsheba was also the granddaughter of one of David’s advisors and her husband was a leader in David’s military, so it was likely that they had met before, and Bathsheba might have responded without worry to the palace summons. David on the other hand, was in the safety of the palace while his men were at war, and already had six wives. He knew the law and felt he was above it. He had power and he abused it by calling Bathsheba to the palace and then raping her. He further abused his power by having her husband killed and then marrying her so his actions wouldn’t be found out. We need to name this what it is: abuse of power and rape. And while God loved David, he did not let David go unpunished. While he confessed and God forgave him it didn’t change the punishment David felt the rest of his life as he experienced the negative impact of his cruel actions. Luke 1: Zechariah’s Challenge vs. Mary’s Consent It would be interesting to do a compare/contrast between how Zechariah and Mary responded to the angels’ announcements. Zechariah asked for proof that it would happen while Mary, believing it would happen, asked about the mechanics. But most interesting is Mary’s response where first, she identifies herself as a servant of God, like Abraham, Moses, and David, and secondly, gives her consent. Note that when Gabriel spoke he did not give a command but rather spoke of a future certainty. Mary was never commanded to become pregnant, she wasn’t already pregnant, nor did she become pregnant without knowing she would be. She wasn’t impregnated by the Holy Spirit until after she consented, so God being all knowing and knowing Mary’s answer spoke through Gabriel with future surety. Even God waited for consent. The Lord of the Universe, the ruler of all, the all powerful, still waited for Mary’s agreement. This detail should not be overlooked. I am grateful that this was not missed by hymn writer Richard Leach who wrote the hymn “Told of God’s Favor” which highlights that Mary said “yes” to God. Yes to the waiting, yes to the labor,yes to the hurting, yes to the birth.Yes to the baby, yes to the future,yes to the holy, yes to the world. —Richard Leach, “Told of God’s Favor” A choral arrangement of this text and tune by Russell Schulz-Widmar entitled “Mary Said Yes” is available through the Selah Publishing Company. Final NoteSexual abuse should be mentioned regularly in pastoral prayers and times of confession. A call to healthy relationships and respect for others needs to be a constant theme in our calls to holy living. Occasions for lament ought to occur regularly along with explorations of the psalms of lament. Hard preaching passages should not be avoided including the abuse of Hagar by Sarah and Abraham, or the injustices that created the need for Tamar to trick Judah. Abuse doesn’t just reside outside marriage relationships either; married couples need to be reminded of the faithfulness, mutuality, and respect called for in scripture. The Jane and John Doe’s of this world cannot be ignored. It isn’t enough to lament only when one becomes a headline. You grew up with them. They reside in your neighborhood, are your colleagues, attend your church, and are part of your family. The church cannot remain silent because scripture isn’t silent. The church needs to do more because God demands it.
